Anne (ajva) wrote,
Anne
ajva

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um

People say eating disorders are about women not wanting to grow up.

People say you shouldn't blame the modelling industry/the media.

Sometimes I am very glad I am me.


Hey thank you all SO much for your suggestions! I asked because recently I’ve been so depressed and every time I see thinspiring pictures instead of their usual effect of making me restrict I actually binge. And my boyfriend has noticed something’s up – in his words – “you’re like turning into one of those anorexics or something” so he’s also been making me eat during the times that I’ve finally regained control and I’ve gained from 134 pounds to 139 in three weeks! But all your suggestions have really helped and this morning I’m back on track (ie I didn’t have a massive binge after breakfast). As my short term goal I’ll aim for 130 and then see how much lower I feel like going (although once I start to lose it’s pretty hard to stop myself). And to everyone who’s envious of my height you shouldn’t be – it’s the reason I started my ana tendencies in the first place. All my friends are always like “you could be a model if you just lost some weight” and I’ve been approached by two agencies and both times they wanted to sign me but they suggested I lose weight. And there was me thinking “but I’m not fat” and then I just became obsessed with how skinny models actually are and now I just feel like a massive pig, especially with all this extra I’ve just put on. so thanks again for helping me get control, I’ll keep you all posted!
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